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Wednesday, July 24, 2002


Okay, here it is, Wednesday night, super bored, nothing interesting happened at all in the last three days. But I did go looking all over the net for lame or stupid insults. Don't ask why, its something that I thought to do, and my gosh I found some good (bad) ones.

1). "You whistle like a girl."

2). "You're so dumb that you bought a solar powered flashlight."

3). "You're so dumb, you're stupid."

4). "That snakeskin belt isn't half as cool as you or your cockatiel thinks it is."

5). "You're so dumb that when you saw a sign that said “wet floor” so you wet it."

6). "I'd flick a booger in your face, but you ain't worth a booger."

7). "When God was passing out "brains" you thought he said "trains" or maybe "cranes" and you didn't want any trains or cranes so you said no, and you ended up not getting any brains, none at all jerko. Oh yea, your mom dresses you funny. Yea, your a dumb jerko and your mom dresses you funny, jerko."

Okay, I may have ad libbed the last one

Here's a pretty cool topic, thanks to Darcy. List your fears (and this is just like a random sampling of my five billion fears).

The Silverware Holder-You know, where you put the silverware after you wash it (but not dry it). I always place knives with the point down cause I am so paranoid that I will go reaching for a plate or some how accidentally fall on it, that I will stab my self or impale myself or something.
The Work Massacre Fear- The fear that some disgruntled worker will come into work and shoot us all. I'm not the only one who feels this way, my coworkers; Donna, Michelle, and Marco and I actually came up with a contigency plan should someone start shooting up the office. (We got the idea to do this from an episode of Dateline NBC).
The Food Poisoning Fear-When ever I cook with chicken I always boil it first (for like twenty minutes). That way I am assured of getting rid of whatever food poisoning undercooked chicken has. Also, I always over cook ground beef. The weird thing about this is, I always eat my steak rare, and since steak is my most favorite food, I eat it a lot.
The Shark Fear-No bodies of water for me (yea, there was that one trip to the beach a couple years ago, picture on left side menu, but thats it). I'm not just afraid of the ocean, I won't even go swimming in a lake. Cause, you know, what if some kid eight years ago dumped his pet baby alligator into the lake. Or what about snakes? Or what if a psycho tossed a couple piranha into the lake? What If?!!!!!
Heights-If I'm on a step ladder, I get the Hee Bee Jeebies.
The Shower Fear- I had this fear even before Psycho. I never take a shower without locking the door. Cause, if you're attacked in the shower, the most you could do is throw a bar of Irish Spring at your assailant. And you know darn well that bar of Irish Spring is just going to slip out of your hand and land on your big toe while you are trying to defend yourself with it.

7/24/2002 09:02:00 PM
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