So I woke up this morning (had the day off) and I thought to myself, "Why not take a 90 minute drive, and go up North and visit my parents?" So I found dug around and found $4.60 in various nickels, dimes, and quarters for gas. (I must be moving up on the world, notice I didn't use pennies). With my new Hyundai I get like seventh thousand miles to the gallon or something. Okay, to be truthful one of my main reasons for going was because they were going to give me a new crispy President Grant bill cause I was a little to frivolous (sp?) with my spending earlier last week. Anyways, that being said, I jump into the car and head North (they also said they were having London broil for dinner, which is the greatest thing man has ever eaten).
Warning! What you are about to read is probably the most mundane and trivial thing you will read for months, so if you are pressed for time or something, move on about with your business of the day.
But this is pretty much how I spent my ride up North, so here it is.
I got to thinking (I don't know how) that I am not just a right handed person, but a super right handed person. Not super as I am the greatest right handed person there is, but in the sense that I am so right handed that my left hand is probably darn near a useless appendage. Really. I could probably (with minimal difficulty) get along just fine without it.
At best, my left hand only ever acts in an "assisting" or "supporting" role. Cases in point:
1) I drive with my right hand, no big whoop there, what right handed person doesn't? But here's the thing. I almost always have two hands on the wheel, the right hand driving the car and the left hand just holding on in case I have to do something with my right hand.
2) I skim through radio stations with my right hand, but only when there is no real driving to do, I skim the radio stations with my right while my left hand only has the responsiblity to keep the steering aimed straight, cause if a turn comes up the right hand immediatly stops whatever its doing and takes control of the car.
3) I had an itch behind my left ear on the drive up, I put my left hand in charge of the car and itched it with my right.
4) At the McDonalds drive thru when I was paying my bill, I pulled my wallet out of my pocket with my right hand, placed it in my left hand (only for holding purposes) and than opened the wallet and extracted the bills with my right hand. I than (while Mr. Left Hand is holding the wallet in a static position) dig around in the change thingy for exact chang with my right hand. I even hand the attendent the money with my right hand. I than take the wallet out of my left hand and with my right hand put the wallet in the glove box while the left hand kind of does nothing.
4) If I am a passenger in a car, and I have a beverage in the cup holder, the left hand only picks up the beverage while the right hand grabs it, holds it up to my mouth and I drink from it. I than place the beverage into the cup holder with my right hand.
5) I never pet any of the cats with my left hand.
6) I cannot roll dice with my left hand.
7) When I am drawing up water for a shower or a bath I always test the temperature of the water with my left hand (cause God forbid I risk the right hand with such a task).
8) I can't use the tv remote with my left hand. I can hit buttons, but rarely the right ones unless I kind of concentrate.
9) I can't snap my fingers with my left hand, but I can do a great snap with the right.
10) When I clip my fingernails the left hand nails are done perfectly, when I clip my right hand's nails they are always jagged and uneven.
So after thinking about all of this I thought to myself, well what are the major tasks for my left hand? And I could only come up with a few, all of which could be done by a metal hook or something. Here they are;
1) Q-Tip the left ear (this just can't be done with the right).
2) Roll up the driver's side window.
3) Open up the mailbox so the right hand can withdraw the mail, and than not even close the mailbox, just let go and let the lid fall into place.
4) Test water temperature.
5) Hold onto pan or pot while the right hand stirs and mixes.
5) Open refrigerator so the right hand can get something out (and not even really hold it open, just open it to the point where it rests in the open positon).
6) Act as a basin or cup of sorts when I pour shampoo into said hand so the right hand can apply it to my hair.
7) Lift toilet seats (God forbid we have the right hand do that).
Of course all this could be something that all right handed folks can relate too. But its pretty much what I thought about while I spent most of the morning driving.
And onto something more serious;
Next week your AP Site will probably only be updated once (in the beginning of the week). The Weblog Review is taking part in Blogathon 2002 and your Ap Site author has commited to do four reviews (it takes me like a day and a half to do one) so I won't have chance to blab here much. I'm sure my four regular readers will be devistated. But considering that I do absolutley squat for charities (outside of dropping spare change into the Salvation Army red can things at the mall around Christmas), I guess I can do at least this. And I will be able to say I did something for charity. Yea, I am so charitous (sp?). Heck, I'm like that Ghandi chick from India or something. gmd 7/16/2002 08:30:00 PM