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Sunday, July 07, 2002


We Hold These Truths To Be Self Evident;

1) Dan Marino was probably the greatest quarterback ever. I don't even like the Dolphins, but they consistantly stayed in the playoffs for three main reasons: Marino, Marino, Marino. How they could manage to NOT get a running game, a defense, or any type of special teams from the early eighties til the time Marino retired is just beyond comprehension.
2) The government should never have landed someone on the moon (read this in the paper a few days ago), cause now, whenever anyone complains about any mechanical problem you hear; "We can land a person on the moon, but we can't make a toilet seat that stays warm." or "We can land a person on the moon, but we can't make a cell phone that doesn't lose its signal when I drive through a tunnel."
3) Jaws 4 (expletive deleted) stunk.
4) At every situation where there are cash registers and unidentifiable lines (like at a McDonalds or Burger King) I will always get stuck in "line limbo", that place in the line where your not in the left line or right line and people in both lines just go by even though they know you are in line limbo and are being inconsiderate jerks.
5) If you pick up a frog, it will pee on you.
6) There will never, ever, ever, be flying cars.
7) The Pope and Fidel Castro are going to outlive us all.
8) A thousand monkees at a thousand typewrites will not reproduce shakespeare, they'll just eventually stop typing and throw their own poop at each other.

Now this is strange, outside it should be bright and sunny but its kind of foggy and they say its because of a wild fire in Canada. Of course its probably not possible (and only in my head) but now when I go outside I can almost smell smoke.
I'm here at work and my left sock (this happens like once a month to me) has lost a lot of its "elasticity" and keeps falling down my ankle and is driving me nuts. The strange thing is, this morning the sock seemed just fine. The last time this happened I toyed with the idea of bringing a "back up" pair of socks with me, but I guess I just forgot about it.
Later on tonight I am going to write my "Orlando Story" (well actually write what happened to me in Orlando, Florida back in I think, 1981?) and submit it to Orlando Stories. I'm not sure if I ever told it here (I'll post it here tomorrow too) but its the only time I ever stole anything and the only time I ever recieved a second degree burn. And yes, the two incidents are related (the burn and the stealing). I think it was 81, I know I was very young. I'll have to do some research in the from of calling my parents collect to find out for sure. Now wait a minute, I'm at work, I don't have to call them collect. Oh yea, Orlando Stories was created by one of the blogs that yours truly reviewed The Blissfully Bitter Blog. And anyone who has been to Orlando (just about anyone who went to Disney down there) can submit their story.

7/07/2002 12:16:00 PM
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